I would like to share an experience I had, It was when I started off in my transition. At that time I didn’t have a great deal of money for any of the things I needed to transition.
So I decided to start putting hopeful and wise messages into my cell phone. I put only one message in it a day. Its wasn’t a lot of work, but much later on I would be able to read many awesome sayings in it.
My low tech cell phone then became an amazing tool for helping me get through the day.
This was my first message to myself
(#1: You are what you are in your head. Only the red ink words of Jesus need to be taken as true on there surface. Divine truth is also 100 percent positive and empethetic.
#2 : Even if you haven’t gotten what you want, and don’t have what You want You still have enough to begin your Journey)
To celebrate that this Blog has a few more hits, here are a few more tips on how to date transwomen
Tip 6: Be very careful with pronouns! Speaking is a reflexive action, so before you start chatting with us make sure you can control your dialogue. Take some time to talk to friends and family members without using any pronouns. Try that for a week and tell a friend you are considering dating a trans*person, then ask if it would be ok to refer to them as another name and gender for practice. If you do that you will be one step ahead of every one else. (Difficulty 4)
Tip 7: Be brave (part 1)! The biggest problem you may face is being afraid to take your lady out in public. Before you go looking for one of us, tell some of your key friends and family members that you are considering dating a trans women, that we are not different from other women, and your orientation has not changed. If you have a preference for us you might be trans oriented. People won’t understand you for being different, but coming out of the trans-oriented closet is just like coming out of any other closet within the lgbtq community. You must admit certain things to yourself and everyone else before you can move forward with us. We will never want to be your dirty little secret so don’t make us one. (Difficulty 5)
Tip 8: Be brave (part 2)! Some may feel awkward about being seen with us. Ones desire to be accepted in society is a powerful and primal motivator. This is why I need to tell that if you want to date us the possibility for a long term relationship will need to be on the table. We will never want to be your “friend with benefits” or another hook up. What that means is after we have become a steady girlfriend, our adventure will become your adventure. You will need to face persecution with us sometimes, you will always need to stand up along side us, and you may even need to share some of our economic burden. Imagine that you could only be with a beautiful vampress after she made you one of the undead along with her. This is somewhat our situation, so now is the time to ask yourself “are we worth it”. For me love is always worth it, and even when I thought I was cis-gendered I wouldn’t have let something like danger stop me from finding the love of my life.
Tip 9: Be Brave (part 3): We must go with you into a crowded, well lit, restaurant , so before you take her anywhere, consider just taking her to a place in an lgbtq friendly area that isn’t a bar for gay men. (Lesbians can however take us to lesbian only areas) If she asks you why tell her you don’t want people giving her problems around the bathrooms, and if she wants to be taken to another place just go there with no argument. The second she thinks you are ashamed to be with her, you are out of her life. If you need to become friends with some of the staff and management at a restaurant you like, do that first. If you do that such a place will become a haven for you both when you take her there.
Tip 10: Be brave (part 4)! Our adventure becomes yours also, and one element of our adventure is hate crime. Hate crime may become a part of your adventure also. If you love to be A protector and guard women, then you have come to a great place. If however, you are more of a lover than a fighter, then you need to consider some of the danger we face. If your relationship gets to the point where you can drive to her house than just play it safe from then on. Stay in well lit, low crime areas and drive her to and from her house. I would also recommend stopping off at a gun store to buy a tazer gun, or two, and perhaps some mace to keep on you. After you do that tell her that you will protect her. Don’t let her think you will give up her life or safety because she is just an expendable experiment. I would also advise you not to seem more scared than she is. (difficulty 5)
Well that was fun, but since I have readers now I would like to answer some questions you might have as long as they are respectful, so leave me a few questions and I will give you a few answers.
Let me start off talking about some cool.
How to date trans-women
A guide for those who are trans- accepting and trans-oriented
(The first five basic tips)
I have many tips for you starting with the very basic at level 1, and the very difficult level 5. My tactics vary from locating us, knowing what to say, and avoiding awkward moments
Tip 1: It is not advisable to ask a trans-person a bunch of info regarding gender identity. To avoid needing to do that take some time to research information about gender identity, and gender dysphoria on your own.
Tip 2: Research is the key. Look up information about “trans etiquette” so you have an idea of what respectful language is, versus language that won’t get us to date you.
Tip 3: Always remember that a trans-women is exactly like a regular cisgender women, except we ended up with some different starting equipment. That is the only difference. This means if you expect us to jump at the first opportunity for sex, pay half the check, or settle for just guzzling beer with you at the bar, you are mistaken. You will also not be able to date a trans-women
Tip 4: Dating or courtship strategies that helped you date women will also be equally effective when dating a trans-women. Some examples of these strategies are opening doors, offering a protective escort, and giving compliments etc etc.
Tip 5: There is a phenomena known as “gender shock” in which people are taken aback by trans people who don’t pass well. The instinctual first reaction of some people is to glare awkwardly. I think you will agree though, that even those of us who don’t pass perfectly can still be very cute, so to avoid that unwanted reflex is to take some time to adjust beforehand. Look at pictures of trans-women in all of there stages of transition (consider you tube as a place for this). Additionally find a place where you expect to meet trans-women and just take some time to adjust. You will eventually get to the point where you will see one of us, you won’t need to “read” us, and you will be able to accept that you are in the company of a trans- women instantly and easily.
Hello every one this will be my first official blog, so I will just start off sharing some information about myself and this blog and say hello to everyone
First of all I am a trans*women, and most of this blog is here to talk about issues relevant to the transgender community and its allies. Other times I might be write advice columns and small pieces on other topics like love and philosophy. I may even feel like answering some questions, now and then. In general the more viewers and support I get, the more I will expand this blog. Additionally if there is any request my audience has for me I will definitely consider it.
I will strive to keep my blogs short and friendly, but fun and informative. I don’t claim to be an expert in any field so everything I share comes from my own personal experiences.
I know how this sounds, but while I do welcome positive feedback I am not looking for any criticism or attempts to debate topics with me. My blog free to you so you can take it or leave it, and when I doo seek criticism in order to improve my online writing I will not be accepting it from the online community With that in mind I do have a few disclaimers
(On this blog I will not tolerate prejudice, disrespect, or harassment of any variety. There are plenty of other blogs where people can share their negative opinions about trans people, but this is not one of them.
Moreover this blog is not here to create a discussion on how others perceive my or anyone else’s gender identity. Some of you may feel surprised that you can’t have a “respectful discussion” on the nature of gender identity here, so let me tell you this right now. I am not going to accept any of it. I suggest that those of you who have a problem with this express your opinions in another forum. This will be your only warning.)
With that in mind let me say I look forward to sharing my next piece.